A Letter To A Young “Bride-To-Be”

From A Wife Of 54 Years

Wedding Rings

Dearest Patricia*,

If I remember right, you were in your mid-teens when I first met you: we worked together in DVBS (Daily Vacation Bible School).  I thought very highly of you then, and still do.

I saw you as a young lady who was kind and thoughtful, desiring to be a help wherever possible.

I was so pleased when I observed a friendship beginning to develop between you and your future fiancée.  I quietly hoped things would work out as they eventually did.  I think you will be a good wife to him, and he a good husband for you.

A marriage can be something beautiful; God planned that it should be that way.  I am convinced that a husband is a gift from God.  He is a treasure to be cherished and honored all the days of his life.

There are some things I have learned through my 54 years of marriage.  I wish I had pages to tell you about them all, but I will just share some of what God has taught me.

  • To be a successful wife, you must be a “prayer warrior”.  Read Phil 4:6, 7. Learn to pray, and to trust the Lord in everything: Pray as you cook, as you approach difficult tasks, as you teach and discipline your children, and in everything.  Oh, what peace we have in our hearts when we learn to pray and trust.

Jesus said that without Him, we can do nothing.  He speaks to us through His Word – read it daily; memorize verses and passages, especially those that are most meaningful to you. The portion of the Bible that is in your memory bank is the part of God’s Word that is always with you.

  • Continually practice Ephesians 4:32 in your relationship with your husband, and your children.  This is a must.  Somehow, in the daily grind of life, we have a tendency to forget to practice that admonition, especially at home – it is so very important.
  • We must remember to always practice kindness, thoughtfulness, and courtesy with each other. And don’t forget forgiveness. All of this is essential to good relationships. And, it is true, “what goes around, comes around”
  • Maybe you don’t need this, but I’ll add it anyway:  Keep your house neat and tidy.  I have learned from personal experience, that family relationships are better when things are neat than when the house is messy and disorganized.
  • Be careful to continue keeping yourself attractive for your husband.  He will appreciate that.
  • Remember, you don’t always have to be right.  Let your husband be the leader. He can’t be the leader if you don’t follow. And pray for him. God tells us to pray for those who are in authority over us, and surely that would include a husband.
  • Remember, he hasn’t walked this path before, he is just learning, even as you are.  It’s okay for you to tell him how you feel about things, and what you think is right. Then leave it there, and go to your prayer closet and let the Lord guide your husband into right decisions.

In our marriage, there were times when I was sure I was right, then found that I was wrong.  At those times I was glad that I had left the working out of the situation to the Lord, instead of me insisting on having my own way.

  • Keep your husband’s confidences private, and don’t tell others his faults.  We know that no one is perfect but let other people think he is.  Words are strong. If you say derogatory things about him, you will find yourself thinking less of him, and so will others.  Focus on his qualities and pray about those things that you are disappointed in.

Go to Proverbs 31:10-31.  This woman is my favorite woman in the Bible. It is a wise choice to follow her example.

May the Lord richly bless you and your ”soon–to–be husband”.  I desire every good thing for the two of you.

D. S.

*Name has been changed to protect the guilty.

From the Editor – The previous letter was written to be placed into a keepsake scrapbook for the wedding.  Select women from her church were asked to add things like favorite Bible verses, recipes, words of encouragement and things of that nature.  This was the letter that Doris Swartz wrote to be placed into that scrapbook.  Doris had been widowed 11 years prior to this and added to me, “Some things are learned after you lose your mate that you wish you would have understood while he was still alive”.  — Mark

Other submissions from Doris Swartz:

Doris Swartz Pt. 1 – How I Traded Fear For Peace
Doris Swartz Pt. 2 – How God Led Me To Work With Children

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3 Comments

  1. Rebecca MacPherson – Our Story… « Christians Are Us
  2. Doris Swartz Pt. 2 – How God Led Me To Work With Children « Christians Are Us
  3. Doris Swartz Pt. 1 – How I Traded Fear For Peace « Christians Are Us

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